Take Time for Fun

When I was growing up, our park district motto was "take time for fun". People, particularly adults, loved this and frequently noted how clever it was. I spent many hours puzzling over this concept. Take time for fun. To me the whole thing was backwards. There was always time for fun, it was the other stuff that I constantly ran out of time for.


Fast forward twenty odd years and my how the tables have turned! Lately, it seems I have time for everything but fun.


Today, while cleaning my baseboards (that's a topic for a whole other post), the dog began throwing her toys at me. She was completely oblivious to the fact that I had exactly 90 minutes left to clean before leaving for work and other mindless pursuits. The bouncy balls and chew toys continued to rain down as she ran joyfully in circles around the apartment. When the tug toy hit me in the head, I finally caved in and played with her.


Every fiber of her being was focused on our play session. She literally yelped with pleasure when I threw a ball across the room. This continued until she sighed, collapsed on the floor and promptly started snoring.


I stayed on the floor for a few more minutes, marveling at her ability to play. My mind inevitably wandered to that ancient park district catchphrase and I got it.


Take time for fun.


When was the last time you had so much fun that you were oblivious to the world around you? So much fun that you lost track of time? So much fun that every fiber of your being was filled to the brim with joy?


Take time for fun.


I'm beginning to see this in a whole new way.


Take time for fun.


I love my life. There is very little I would change. However, I often find myself caught in a constant and never ending cycle of non-fun things. (see the baseboard reference above). I do think that the older we get, the more we need to take time for fun. For belly laughs. discarded to do lists. impromptu road trips. unscheduled days. baking. bike rides. finger painting and all the other endless ways you can imagine to have fun.


So that's it. I'm taking time for fun. Some of this other stuff can wait. Who really cares about clean baseboards anyway? How important are the daily tasks we assign ourselves? Will the world stop turning if the laundry goes unfolded?


A brilliant colleague of mine once confessed that she starts each day with the simple question, "What actually has to happen today?" It's a great self check to talk us down from the cliff of 'should' or 'must' or 'need to' that can quickly dominate our time.


So, what actually has to happen today? FUN.
Fun, has to happen today.

Can't we all just get along... with ourselves?

Lately I find myself wondering why so many beautiful and talented women I know are so hard on themselves?


Here's the thing- I am constantly amazed by the love, support and acceptance my female friends dole out to the loved ones in their lives. Everyone from moms and dads all the way down to the family goldfish get the gold star treatment. Availability round the clock. No deed too small to be done well. And then, they can still drop everything and rally around a friend in need.


My female friends have walked the darkest paths with me, they celebrate my wins and ease the sting of my defeats. They know things about me that no one else does. In short, they sustain me. I like to think we do that for each other. We have been there for death and birth and moves and new jobs - like a security blanket woven through the ever changing facets of our worlds. Throughout history, women have nurtured these kinds of social support networks to survive. When female friendship works, it can be a life changing force.


So these women, these miraculous, life affirming, smart and accomplished women- these women who love and inspire and are loved.... why don't they love themselves? I am notorious for encouraging my girlfriends to be kinder to themselves. The mere whiff of a self deprecating comment leads me to bellow, "if you talked to your friends the way you talk to yourself, how many friends would you have?" The result is usually a grimace and an eye roll before the conversation moves on.


But, really? Why can't we get along with ourselves? The leading killer of women in the U.S. today is heart disease. American women are under more stress and taking more medication than ever before. We are bombarded by messages about all of the many things we should be. The overwhelming theme to these messages... perfection. We should be perfect. It's not enough to be loving, smart , life affirming or even accomplished. Nope. Ladies, we must be all of those things...and perfect.


What a losing battle. Unfortunately, it's one most women I know have taken to heart and it's not doing us any favors. Somewhere along the complicated road to being a 'grown up', we've managed to internalize all of these "shoulds". No matter what we do, it's never enough. We must be smart, special and talented. Independent. Resourceful. Thin. Attractive. Sexual. Intelligent. Kind. Domestic. Clever. Fertile. Fun. Nurturing. Fashionable. (to name just a few)


And while juggling all of these expectations, there is the minutiae of daily life to manage.


While making dinner tonight, I called a girlfriend and jokingly asked her where we were supposed to find the time to do everything? I started enumerating the laundry list of "shoulds" that engulf our lives and pairing them with all the things we actually have to do in a given day. She listened and let out a shaky laugh as she admitted that some days she just made it through work. We both laughed, acknowledged the absurdity of the situation and went on with our evenings.


I haven't been able to shake that conversation. When is it enough? When are we satisfied? When do we actually see how amazing we are? When do we learn to get along with ourselves?

Here We Go...

Welcome to the Uptight Hippie! I find that I walk both sides of this plank on a daily basis. As I navigate the road, I hope you'll enjoy reading about my journey. Feel free to join the conversation. Leave a comment or contact me directly. I always welcome respectful opinions from either side of the fence.