Be careful with me. I'm sensitive.

Last year, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Only very recently have I been able to open up to my loved ones about that fact. I spent a long time feeling ashamed and embarrassed about my diagnosis. Worried what people would say or think, I kept it to myself.


You see, for a (reforming) perfectionist like me, being diagnosed with anything can feel like a failure.


I spent a lot of the past year parked on the couch, alone with my misery. Putting on a super woman act for the rest of the world, I crumbled when left by myself. My work, my marriage, my friendships and my spirit all floundered.


I have yet to find a way to accurately describe what it feels like to experience depression and anxiety. It's exhausting. Scary. Alienating. And most of all, it's not who I am. Sometimes, I felt like a stranger watching my own life unfold before me.


Nothing has ever challenged my spirit and my very soul in the way that these two illnesses have.


Over the winter, I began to recover and to gain some perspective about the journey. Slowly, I am reclaiming my life and putting my rose colored glasses back on. For the first time in a long time, I'm beginning to feel like myself again.


Often, I find myself torn about the experience. I wish I could go back in time and have a conversation with that sad girl on the couch. I'd like to reassure her that everything will be ok. Mostly, I want her to know that she is not alone. Unfortunately, she is in some very good company. Per the National Mental Health Association,


• 1 in 8 women will experience depression in their lifetime
• women are more likely than men to struggle with depression and anxiety
• being a perfectionist is a high risk factor for both diseases


Be careful with us. We're sensitive.


As women, we spend so much time taking care of everyone and everything else. For some of us, the flip side of feminism is feeling like you have to do it all and do it all well. Sometimes, it's good to remember that we are not invincible. Sometimes, it's good to ask for help.


Sometimes, it's good to be careful with yourself and to be sensitive.